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Old 12-14-2010, 10:03 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
maybe a knitting poly club would fair you better...

It's not that I had a totally lousy time or didn't meet some nice, interesting people. But the majority of folks gave it that "meat market" quality. I just wish I knew someone in the group already, who maybe could've pulled me aside and said, "Watch out for that one, he hits on anything that moves," or whom I could ask, "So what's the story with this guy over here?" The only people I felt totally at ease with were the other newbies (imagine a small group of us wide-eyed and incredulous while we stumble around the room, LOL), and they don't know anyone, just like I don't.

Because of the atmosphere, I'm not sure now whether the few that were personable and friendly weren't just being nice to get into my pants as much as the ones that were obvious about it. I think I can confide in or talk about this to the organizer, who also organizes the poly women's group, which is small, women-only, and meant to be a support rather than a place to hook up. That I will probably go to again, but it only meets once a month.

On another front, an acquaintance of mine introduced me to a friend of his, B., last week, saying "I think you two would hit it off." And B. is interested in me but cautioned our mutual friend that he doesn't want a "serious" relationship, which -- in my heretofore mono world -- I take to mean committed to being exclusive and long-term. I responded, "I'm not ready for exclusivity, anyway." I decided I would intro the poly topic to non-poly people by using the term "exclusivity." And then I said, "I wouldn't pass up an opportunity to enjoy someone's company, have good conversation, and get a little attention." So, B. called me today and we talked for almost an hour! We made plans to get together for a late lunch/early dinner tomorrow. Just because he doesn't want something "serious" doesn't mean it can't be steady, fun, affectionate, and other nice things. From our conversation today, I get the sense that he enjoys his independence and doesn't want to be the one and only for anyone. Cool with me. I can handle a "casual relationship" in that sense. I just don't want to go around banging a bunch of people I meet at parties. So, maybe B. will be open to the poly concept. We'll see what transpires between us!
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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