Thank you! Yes, this isn't necessarily going to be a triad....we don't know yet. It seems like the definitions may be a bit blurred in our case. All I feel sure of right now is that there will be something special between me and her.
My fear is that the pain and jealousy I feel when the two of them are together will wreck things. I've already made up my mind that I will never ask my husband to break up with her (which he is willing to do, reluctantly, if I absolutely can't stand it). And that resolution started out as something I wanted to do for him, but now it's more about her. She has had a few relationships but my husband is her first real love....how could I ever take that from her? I couldn't; I love her and would sacrifice my heart to save hers. But she and he are both very much concerned for my well-being; they feel terrible about the pain I have been through already and they won't be happy if I'm not happy. So.....I want to be happy!