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Old 12-13-2010, 04:36 PM
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whatamIdoing whatamIdoing is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: maryland
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Have you shown your hubby what you have written here? The good AND the bad?
No. he is not GREAT at reading... I told him about this place but he's just currently shutting down on me....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Let him read it, know where your head and heart are at.
I have told him but i will ask him if he wants to read it... if he says yes I will show him. I love B so much... It kills me that I want (and maybe NEED) to do something that is hurting him so badly....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Sometimes we can tell them, preach at them, that we aren't going any where. We will still be here when they get home from a date (or us come home from a date) & they absolutely will NOT see the truth of it until it is proven over & over again.
and that's really what I want from B the chance to prove it over and over. Sadly my dates with J are LONG because we are 2 hours apart... so if I get tired I will stay... but I will always come home to B.... that's a given.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Sometimes they just need to be told in a totally different way than what we've been using to tell them these things.
I have this weird thought that I would like J to tell him these things too... but I don't think that will help.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
You've proven to him, at least in my eyes, that you will come home after a date, that things can be even HOTTER between the two of you BECAUSE OF this relationship with J.
I would think so too.. but clearly not yet

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
This may not be a winnable war, unfortunately . I think you already know in your heart of hearts what your decision will be in this.
i know and it makes me SO FUCKING SAD... I want to cry at the lost chance to play this out with J... it's so not permanent with J... but it could be such fun for me... I know my choice is easy... it's not even something I have to think about. B comes first. But I will be mad and I will be angry and I will cry. and that still will hurt B. He wants me to just walk away from J and NOT CARE about him... and I can't. While I don't LOVE J I do LIKE him... a lot.. .and I care about him and I worry about him...

But I will walk away if B needs me to and eventually get over the hurt... I would have to probably not go to the gaming cons any more. I could not risk seeing J.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Breathesgirl View Post
Unless you want to see B continually in pain you need to make that decision and stick with it.

Many hugs.
thanks. I can tell you that knowing B this is so far from over....

If I tell him I will end it with J he will be upset with me.
IF I tell him I will NOT end it with J he will be sad and hurt..

I can't win.
Maybe I just need to tell him nothing for a while... and let things keep on rolling. J and I have no plans to meet again till January 8th and that's for the day I already told him I could not spend the night...
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