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Old 12-11-2010, 11:11 PM
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Breathesgirl Breathesgirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 833

Originally Posted by Coco View Post
Dear Friends,

i have been in a master/slave relationship (as a slave) for about 6 months now. I fell in love with my master, "A". He is recently divorced, with two kids and really in a funky place. We also have/had an open relationship. In theory, A wanted me to be his primary partner, and I wanted the same with him. but he really couldn't handle much of anything in terms of commitment and, as time has gone on, he has really freaked out.
He is recently out of a long term relationship. He needs to give himself time to grieve & learn to live singly again. Let him have this space. He may not realize that that's what it is he needs, a LOT of people don't realize it.

Talk to him on Monday at lunch. Tell him your decision to move on with your life, that as much as you love him you love YOURSELF more so must honor your relationship with yourself and do what's best for you.

I love him so much, I want to be his slave, it is very hard for me to resist his drawing me in like that, but I know that he is trying to continue the slave/master dynamic, while refusing to give anything on his side. I know he plans for us to meet for lunch, fuck, and then I'm supposed to leave and just be okay with everything.
Tell him, in no uncertain terms, that this kind of relationship does NOT work for you.

As a natural slave, I am struggling with asserting my boundaries here. For a long time, he has been unable to give what I need to feel fully trusting and open in a slave/master dynamic, and yet, because I felt some of these things with him in the past, I find myself hanging on, hoping that he will change. He wants to keep me on the line like this, and it is so hard for me.

I have worked very hard during our 'break' to re-evaluate myself and think about how I can enforce my boundaries in this relationship. THe truth is, he seems to have no consideration for my boundaries.

Enforce your boundaries by not texting, not talking to him, block his email, etc. Tell him your boundaries. Write them out if you need to. Once he stops receiving your texts, phone messages & emails he'll maybe, MAYBE get the hint that you're serious.

Be strong. You can do this.

It's not easy telling a Master that you are exercising your right as a human being to walk away from a toxic relationship, I've been there.

Remember the Little Engine that Could. "I think I can, I think I can" eventually he did make it up that hill. So will you.

Take care of yourself & move forward one minute, one hour, one day, one month at a time. Baby steps.
There are as many ways to do polyamory as there are people practicing it!
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