So I finally got my first unsolicited text from Haylee last night. This is literally the first time she has reached out and tried to connect with me. I feel that it is an important step because the relationship has felt really one sided between her and I. In the text she said,
"How is the studying coming? Thanks for the shift last night, I needed it"
I had just walked into work when she sent it and never found time to respond. I was late getting there and I just have so much on my mind I'm not sure what to do. Like I said before, I'm not sure we will be able to do much with the relationship now that Julio is gone.
My boss and I are supposed to sit down and go over my schedule tomorrow. I'm really beginning to feel like I need to tell her that I don't want to be scheduled. But I can't put my finger on exactly what I want to do. I work 6 hours a week, so its not like the job takes over my life. The feeling I'm having is that I am ready to move on. To leave that life behind and get a 'real' job. Julio says that won't happen, even if I walk out the door with every intention of quitting; eventually I'll miss it and come running back. So maybe I should work on getting a new job and just drag this one out, til it just dies on its own. But that sounds so sad, I want to just put it down now and walk away happy.