The one person in particular and I are still messaging on OK Cupid, and I'm seeing the potential for it to move off the computer to an actual meeting, so last night I had another serious talk with Mal. He shared that he's feeling afraid of losing me, but at the same time he realizes that it's not logical / not likely to actually happen, and he doesn't want to be controlled by feelings that he knows aren't rational. And even if finding someone for a triad was likely, he doesn't feel ready to consider adding another relationship to his life right now - he's still hurting too much from losing Beth and all of the associated friends. So he's ok with me meeting this one person, if it comes to that. We'll keep talking about future possibilities. We also talked about ways that I can help him see that I'm not interested in leaving him. He emphasized me *doing* things, like helping with chores or doing something nice for him just because, so I'm going to try extra hard to make sure that sort of thing happens.
I'm also happy that Mal's taking the initiative to spend time with other people as friends. He had a friend over for the night a week ago yesterday, he's been spending more time hanging out with people at school, made some plans with a couple of school friends to start a DnD campaign, and he made a last-minute trip last night to bring up another friend of his - I'll call him J - for the weekend. I don't like J much myself, but... Mal needs friends, he needs people he can talk to and BS with besides just me, and I can deal with a bit of irritation to have J here for the weekend if it means that Mal will be happier. They were up till 5 am this morning playing video games and catching up. I think I'm going to try to get a nice breakfast going for when Mal wakes up.
Keira Raven, married to husband Mal, interested in a woman for a triad or vee
(Previously known as Dakota Raven, husband previously known as Adam)