Thread: Very new
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Old 12-10-2010, 05:31 PM
pixie pixie is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11

For sake of confusion I'll start using initials for people!! W= my open, long-distance relationship. T = the new guy.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
This is more like an open relationship than DADT. DADT is more like an affair or cheating that is known but not spoken of. If sounds like everyone knows what is going on and who everyone is, but because of the casual sporting nature of it all its not worth getting into it. Would that be what you mean? I got confused because you use the word "affair" to describe. To me that indicates unknown, or barely known.
I guess we're somewhere in between - 'don't ask, don't tell' were W's words, as in, he wasn't going to ask me and didn't expect me to volunteer information. 'affair' is just my own term, it seems silly to refer to a temporary thing based on sex as a 'relationship'! W knows about 1 of my 'affairs' as someone else stuck their oar in and told him. I know about 2 of his because I asked last time we were together. I'll ask again next time we're together. We have limited communcation long-distance at the moment and I don't want to waste precious time on what I see as minor details.

Do you have a link to your blog redpepper? Your post is really insightful and I'd like to read about your story :-)

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
It sounds like you have a journey coming up. To clarify: You have a man that also has sport sex with others and is casual and has NOT met someone that rocks his world and struggles with jealous. You have some feelings that there is something more and you now want to see what that is... you are moving into a different time.
Almost. W and I pretty much rock each others worlds though. W is one of my absolute best friends; if I believed in souldmates he'd be it. We've both been badly burned by Love and are taking things slow, emotionally (at least out loud). We are both very open, sexual people. I'm very excited to follow where this relationship leads.

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
Not to mention that this new guy you have met doesn't know what is going on and could either be cool with it just being casual, could scorn you and be disgusted and say good bye, or be into a deep and meaningful connected relationship with you. You just don't know yet.
This is right - T is funny, cute, we click, we get on, communicating daily since we met, concerned about me when I was ill and had to cancel our date, sending me things to cheer me up, flirty......I have a good feeling about this one. Just feel I need to get straight in my head how I might handle telling him about W if it gets that far, before it does.
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