Thread: Very new
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Old 12-10-2010, 01:20 AM
pixie pixie is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 11
Default Very new

Hi

I don't know if my situation is technically polyamory or anything, but I'm hoping that I might be able to get some advice here.

I am in an open, long-distance relationship - we both agree that the time we spend apart (which is for months at a time, 5,000 miles apart) we are free to see other people. We don't consider ourselves to be officially 'dating', but when we are in the same place, we are together and act in every way as a couple. We have both been burned badly in past long-term monogamous relationships and are both very reluctant to commit to that at the moment. What we have works very well for both of us.

I would like us to be very open about the other affairs we have, but he has said he doesn't want to know what I get up to, so we have a 'don't ask don't tell' with the flipside that he will tell if I ask. I do feel pangs of jealousy when I see photos of him with other girls; but then I am very much enjoying seeing other people myself, so can hardly deny him, I do feel secure in how he feels about me, and in many ways I am pleased to know that he is enjoying himself away from me and not just moping (I guess I have some compersion there - I've been reading and learning the lingo!)

So far I have had very short-term flings and one nights - with people that I know are leaving etc. Recently I have met a man that I am getting on with very well and I think it has the potential to be a more defined relationship. I've only known him a week, we haven't even gone out on our first proper 'date' yet as I was ill when were supposed to meet, but we've been talking every day and getting to know each other, and already there is more to this than most of my other affairs.

It's early days to worry this, but at what stage is it appropriate to bring up the open nature of my other relationship with this new man? I was thinking of giving it a few weeks, 3 dates or so, and if it is going well, then sitting down with him and explaining my situation.

Is there any accepted etiquette about this kind of thing? Any insight is welcome.
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