Originally Posted by Jade
Having to "turn it off" does impact desire. I've seen it happen in my husband. I've seen it happen in me over the course of a vanilla weekend. There's something to be said for striking while the iron is hot. Nevertheless, it sounds like your friend was being honest with you. It doesn't make hearing "I don't have sexual chemistry with you" easy to hear, but it's probably better for him to tell you up front, rather than wait and see and hope things improve. It sounds like he does respect you.
I will try to respond to the other posts as well, but in general, the question is not about his lack of sexual desire--the reasons behind that are somewhat known to me, as much as he understands them (he is baffled as well). My major question is whether or not it is understandable that I am upset that he went off, just 3 days after communicating this to me and had sex with someone else. He calls himself the "tortoise", preferring to go slow, and slept with her the 3rd time he ever laid eyes on her, while I was home grieving what he shared with me.
I feel that was insensitive to me.