Redpepper, I havent even read all of the threads yet but this is it...spot on. Thanks
Originally Posted by idealist
It's possible that an un-merged person who is demanding more time or attention ect. from a partner that is merged with someone else or merged with a family- is a person who is actually desiring to be merged and maybe doesn't realize it yet.
D gets unhappy and feels like this situation is something she has to bear like a cross. Her ideal was that she was to become the primary after our divorce because the poly matter wasnt tabled yet. Now she knows she cant be married to S yet that was what she expected.Given that polygamous unions are common here, she said she would be happy to be a second wife (with the same rights as I). Her idea of secondary is to have a home of her own where S visits. This is polygamy.