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Old 12-09-2010, 06:17 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by polynHR View Post
You know some of the people on here are full of themselves. I wasn't complaining just making and observation. You know we all aren't as seasoned as some of the folks on here.
PolynHR, I truly hope you don't let yourself be so discouraged that you don't come back. This forum is a really great resource for help and advice. I am new to poly myself, and in a short amount of time everyone here has let me feel totally comfortable saying what I need to say. You certainly don't have to like every post, but the problem with message boards is that you can't always read the tone of what someone wrote and it is easy to misconstrue what was meant. Someone might say to you in person, "Stop complaining" but when you hear the tone of voice and see the look in their eyes, you know it is a gentle, compassionate nudge meant to give you a new perspective -- and not a put-down.

I do believe it does take a shift in one's mindset to meet people. I am a woman just exploring poly now, but during my single days before I was married, it wasn't always easy to meet guys. I am attractive, cheerful, etc., but I know without a doubt that when I was having a hard time meeting men, and hoping for a relationship, it had a lot (if not all) to do with my believing and telling myself it was hard to meet men. Then I changed my world view and consciously made a decision to look at it differently. I started going out with the goal of simply enjoying the company of whomever I met, and to forget about turning it into a relationship. I also gave myself an image in my mind that I had a neon sign flashing over my head that said, "available." It worked! Suddenly men were interested. Some were duds but I had a few great dates, some really fun companions, and a couple of really solid relationships out of that. So when people say to stop complaining, I think what they mean to say is that a shift in your perspective can change everything, that's all.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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