View Single Post
  #9  
Old 12-08-2010, 11:50 PM
SourGirl's Avatar
SourGirl SourGirl is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 885
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by whatamIdoing View Post
well I told him... just like you asked.

he's not excited for me but he's ok with it...

I wish he was not so sad about this...
Well, he will be sad, for awhile. I know for you, It`s hard to go off and have fun, when someone you love is not happy for you. Just know, these things take time. You have to look at the initial phase of dating, as a way to help gain a partner`s confidence. Chipping away one insecurity at a time.

So you go on the date. You do like LR says, and make sure you leave a thoughtful momento for your spouse. Since your spouse is going away, maybe put it in his bag/suitcase.

Surprise your spouse. I always read on these forums about people going on first dates and not wanting to be 'bugged' by their spouse while on a date.

Well why not surprise the spouse and be the one to call and check on them ? See how they are doing. Prove you haven`t forgot them.

Be home when you say you`ll be home. Do the things you say you will do.

All these things truly help build trust, and belief in poly situations. I see many people who will be annoyed their spouse wont trust them, or allow them to be poly. Yet those same people are constantly late, constantly dropping the ball on the little things. How will the spouse ever be able to trust the big things ?


Anyhow,...back to you,...it doesn`t start out easy,..but it has the ability to get easier over time.


Edit to note : Superjast is now SourGirl. Family-sniffing has caused a change of name. Sorry for any confusion.

Last edited by SourGirl; 12-09-2010 at 12:11 AM.
Reply With Quote