Originally Posted by redpepper
I look at this differently but get what you mean. I don't see it as a bonus, I never liked the term "friends with benefits" because that indicates that sex is a bonus and that other friends are less in some way. I prefer "intimate friends." This to me indicates the nature of the friendship rather than the quality... as if sex denotes the quality.
I have a friend that is an 87 year old woman, she is a greater and more dedicated friend of mine than the guy friend I have that on occasion I play with... see what I mean?
I think part of the problem with our culture is the pedestal we put sex on. It sends the wrong message about a persons worth, especially women. Somehow women have it in there head, more often than not it seems, that there worth as a partner, and now even as a friend (!) is based on the sex the put out... that their worth as a "bonus" is based on sexuality not on how good a friend they are.
I didn't mean sex. I just meant make friendship your goal and if you become close, then brilliant. If you find an intimate relationship in that, even better. Just don't expect to have them be your closest friend, because you'll most likely make mistakes that will actually push them the opposite direction.