I remind myself that prioritizing time at holidays isn't just a poly issue. There have been many times when I encouraged my sons to spend the holiday with their dad (after we had divorced) and his extended family because I didn't have an extended family to get together with. I wanted them to have a family experience with aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc. I would spend time with them before or after the exact holiday. Also, when it was just my ex husband and myself with no children, we still had to make a decision about whose family we would spend the holiday with. Yes....we were together, but it still meant someone was left out on the actual date because our families lived so far apart from each other at times. As a single person I've spent Thanksgiving and Christmas by myself before. Sometimes I'd go into work to have a holiday meal with the teens in a program at a ranch where I worked. And sometimes I've sat down and cried and had a great pity party and felt all sorts of sorry for myself....being all by my poor lonely little self (but I'd put a time limit on that as I didn't want to get stuck in that mind set.)
It's ok to feel sad, disappointed, angry, etc., but ultimately it's about the perspective we choose to take when it comes to any given situation.
Last edited by dragonflysky; 12-08-2010 at 04:13 AM.