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Old 12-08-2010, 03:31 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,444

For people who are curious about how poly works or want to try poly, I find it useful to give just a few general advices to avoid overwhelming them (then later you can direct them to more detailed articles if needed). So I was thinking, if I had to sum everything up in three points, how would I do it?
Here is what I came up with:

1) The basic rules of monogamous relationships apply (communication, respect, no going being each other's back, etc)

2) Treat each partner as their own person, each relationship as its own relationship. Be wary of treating them "the same" out of fairness, they are different people and most likely want and need to be treated in a unique way.

3) Communicate even more than for a monogamous relationship, sometimes one on one, sometimes with everyone involved depending on the situation. Make sure you have the same goals and know everyone's boundaries. In monogamous relationships many things are just assumed, which is bad for monogamous relationships too but has the potential to really backfire in poly ones. So make sure to know where everyone stands.

If YOU had to sum up everything in three bullet points, what would they be?
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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