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Old 12-08-2010, 12:19 AM
Fidelia Fidelia is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Right here. Right now.
Posts: 652

Hiya, Levi. Welcome to the forum.

Yes, you (all of you) do belong here. You can find a lot of useful information here, as well as a caring community of poly-peeps.

Originally Posted by Levi View Post
Are we just swingers, or are we poly, or something else. What would poly lifestyle mean for B & E. How can I ask them about it? I don't know that either of them has ever considered it before, as they both had mono bf's before they met us. Would they be able to face their families? Could we face ours? Can we make them feel truly a part of our most intimate relationship when we have been together 15 years with no one else involved? I think I am beginning to love B & E (I find that deep love takes time), but does that mean we are in LTR with them as a Quad? I am so confused.
These are all excellent questions, to which you and your ladies will have to find the answers for yourselves. One thing I can tell you for sure with poly is "one size does not fit all." There are many many ways to approach polyamorous relationships, and no two relationships or poly arrangements are the same. You will have to find your own way.

But here are some ideas to point you in the right direction, in no particular order.

The keys to successful poly relationships are honesty, respect, integrity and empathy for everyone involved.

It's time for you and your ladies to start educating yourselves on polyamory, to help you find your way in this strange and wonderful world. You'll find lots of good stuff here, and links to other good stuff elsewhere.

One thing y'all will need to do is really open up those lines of communication. Give the situation serious consideration, and start the dialogue. What do you really need/want from these relationships? What does each of them want/need? How can the four of you work together to meet those needs/wants?

Good luck to you and your ladies, BrotherMan, as you find your way. And again, welcome.
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