New and Confused.
I guess I will just jump in here with both feet. I am Matt and I am a Polly. It took me a while to figure out exactly how to classify myself as I had never heard the term Polyarmory until a few weeks ago.
I guess my true feelings about love and relationships really started to manifest during the end of a 13 year mono relationship. My partner at the time felt hurt and jealous that I could be involved in a loving relationship with someone other then her. Needless to say it was a rough break up for us both as we both connected deeply with each other.
After the break up I started dating again which lead to some very awkward and emotionally painful situations. I discovered about myself if I did not truly love the person I was with I had no desire or interest in a sexual relationship. With out a connection it just felt like throw away sex.. I guess if that is your thing that is fine but I found myself being very hurt after these encounters.
So sort of getting to my current situation the players in this little pocket of life other then myself would be Erika and Jill. I have know Erika going on 7 years now. She was hired at my work place, at that time we were just work acquaintances. After some time I would say we developed a "Pals" type of relationship, we would be at the same parties, hang out together, and just enjoy one anothers company. Jill was one of Erika's close friends going on 9 years. I knew of Jill by name and seeing her once in a while but did not start getting to know her until after being pals with Erika for about 3 years. We would all hang out with others in our various circles and it was not for some time after my unpleasent dating encounters I realized I had feelings for Jill. I asked Erika not so much permisson but what she thought about the whole thing. She said Jill and I would make a great couple and to ask her out. I did just that, and things were awesome! Jill and I developed a deep and emotional bond, she completes me as I do her.
Almost in the present.. So things were great. Jill and I moved in together, and Erika remained one of our closest friends. Erika went out of state to continue her education. Would talk on the phone and all see each other on holidays. She went through some various relationships and such while at school, then something odd happened that I really did not understand. One of our mutual friends cut her out of his life. This obviously hurt her very much. Jill and I helped the best we could but she would not directly talk about what happend.
Well it turns out Erika was involved in a Polly relationship that ended very bad for all partys involved. There was a lack of communication that lead to all the normal problems that go along with that. The other couple made a choice to remove Erika out of their life if they wanted to contiune to say together.
Ok welcome to the near future! Erika came home after being laid off from her first job out of finishing school due to the economy. Homecoming was not glorious she was depressed and upset. We pretty much went back to peas and carrots again with the 3 of us hanging out as per norm. Then one night after watching a movie on the couch Jill went to the bedroom to sleep as Erika and I would normally be up for hours watching movies or playing cards. While laying on the couch together she made a move on me. We both looked into each others eyes and knew this felt right. We both love each other and care a great deal for each other as we both do with Jill.
The next morning was not weird or awkward.. everything felt right. We all ate eggs and carried on with the day. After Erika left I wanted to bring Jill up to speed with the past nights events. She was fine and understood with no problems, I love her, she loves me, and we both love Erika. Jill is mono and reminded me of that, she likes snuggling and the actual act of sleeping together (closing your eyes and going ZZZZZ). For making love Jill is straight and mono and has no problem with what Erika and I do together but does not want to know any details.
Last week Erika went through another rough patch with family issues. While talking with her I got the whole story of her previous Polly relationship. Erika is afraid this will end as her previous polly relationship did and she will loose two of her best friends. The Genie is out of the bottle with our current relationship as trying to pretend the whole thing did not happen has been emotionally damaging to the three of us. Jill is a little confused and hurt as she does not like seeing Erika hurt. I am trying to maintain but I am not doing to great as it hurts me to see them upset as well as these are two people I love very much.
I know there are no answers to this situation other then the 3 of us to continue to talk and be very open with each other. Just some what difficult as I have no one else to talk to about this.