Here's a suggestion. I don't know if it might help you or not, just throwing it out there.
Sit down and think about where you might be able to be in a month, assuming things work out moderately well, if you decide to stay and if you decide to leave. Think about that for six months from now. A year. Five years. A decade. Twenty years. Try to be as honest as you can about what might change and what just won't, what you could learn to be happy with and what will always make you miserable.
If your conclusion is that you will not be able to be happy where you are, but that you could be happy if you left, then I recommend leaving ASAP. I haven't been in the same scenario yourself, but my mom was. I wish she'd left. She would have been happier, us kids would have been happier. It almost never gets easier to leave.
Also, if you do decide to leave, check out the resources in your area. A lot of places have groups that can help women get back on their feet after they've left a nasty relationship. It won't make things easy, but it might make them a bit less insanely difficult.
Keira Raven, married to husband Mal, interested in a woman for a triad or vee
(Previously known as Dakota Raven, husband previously known as Adam)