I get what you mean about the red/haze.
My rage has been mostly the result of a loving wife going from truly considering (NOT always agreeing and in fact, often we didn't agree prior to this arrangement) my feelings, to almost not at all..
And feelings are a bit tricky... because while I can admit I'm an emotional person what's bothered me a lot in this is that no one in the beginning wanted to truly discuss logistics and how it was all going to work out, except for me.
I was accused of looking too far ahead, pushing the situation into what it was/is now, because I was anticipating. What I was actually doing was preparing, for the inevitable as I listened to her and HER feelings, observations and struggles.
At this stage, everything I 'feared' has come to fruition more or less, but without my very much needed input. We're barely into month 3 of this 'arrangement' and it's not really yet an arrangement at all. We're fumbling through this without any sort of plan, without any sort of true discussion on limits and boundaries (which seem to be tossed out the window -- especially when they're my own).
Frankly, it's a huge mess right now, and you can imagine, I've grown rather tired of being the only one that's interested in making suggestions that can fit for all of us.
From my perspective, with the exception of my freak out moments, I'm wondering why am I the only adult here? And I'm barely one at that.
this isn't very coherent today but again, I appreciate this space right now. It's been too hard to carry this all alone.