Thankyou for the kind response; far more than i expected; and a bit of fiction-response.
I admit to being a bit naieve' ln the matter; at the time I first read Heinlein I thought we were fighting communisim in Vietnam too. Instead it was trying to get "our" opium drug lords in power instead of the north's.
As far as "Fiction" goes: do you like watrbeds? Flatscreen V's? and your cellphone?
You might re-read that particular book :"S.I.A.S.L."; all those tools we casually use today Heinlein came up with first in that book.
Again being naieve myself: I was in the Millitary at the time.
I waited and hoped for over 35 years for this to happen in my life, including waiting, hopeing to make contact with the C.A.W., which when I found out "was" (maybe second reality, in a way from that book) and hoped to become a part of it.
All this long life I've been onm the outside looking in. For a long time that was painful, but on the other hand, without all that melarky of "being a part of "something bigger", I have seen and accomplished things that a group mind kinda person never would have seen or done - or traveled to.
Unless you're an accomplished witch or magick worker you haven't got a clue as to where I've been or what I've seen, and that being from the freedom of NOT being one of the herd.
What I lost in family and friends I made up for in communing with beings that shadow Strieber's "Communion". I found his words amusing; seeing I had "Communed" with beings far more interesting.
I found Reki amusing: I was doing that long before the term Reki came into my life; nothing new. we were doing that in Karismatic Christianity in the 70's, and better too.
I relate more to the Vedas more than the socially acceptable (no-)philosophys the mainstream indoctranates us with here; they were more real because I had seen some in my own life and that without magick mushrooms or other assisting herbs and drugs.
I relate more to "Black Elk Speaks" because we both had our first visions around 8 years old when we both had similar fever dreams, and this also started me on dreams and visions my whole life.
The term: "Thou art God" has real meaning for me. Does it you?
Terror have i known; but also great beauty. All this being a socially unacceptable loner. I have lost a great deal not being able to function in this world concept; but gained so much more.
Only one thing I deal with that I cannot totally let go of this situation: our son. He is an Indigo Child and has had to suffer the deceptions of his mother; her self-deceptions, and her thinking this is truth. He suffers from her endless lies to herself she attempts to believe as truth.
He too is a shaman. A great visionary. He sees and walks in the spirit world as I have done most of my life; he is soon to be 8 years old; and he without the fever to open that ...chakra(?), and she can not deal with that; she has no concept, not even after 20-plus years of being a "witch", and her 20-plus years of trying to be an H.P., which after nine years together I am convinced she will never truely accomplish that goal other than on a piece of paper. Which means absolutely nothing.
She will not accomplish her goals in the world either; her own mental instability will eventually appear, and she will destroy herself. Her own worst enemy. No vision, just experience in the matter.
The big difference between the two of us: I turn my back on the world williingly; she is terrified to see what IS out there.
I turn my back now on love. It has proven to be false.
If one who supposedly loves you cannot stand beside you and be a support when you really need them the most; give that extra for the emotional and physical healing when one needs to comfort the other in the relationship when one looses physical an emotiolnal support, then love is by definition, a false conception, like so many other concepts in this life. Like that Scifi you mentioned.
Now I accept that I will walk (or in my case roll) alone, and work to be at peace with that.