My wife and I are poly....And my wife feels that the women I am attracted to are very attractive, while she (my wife) views herself as not as attractive. Which by the way, my wife is absolutely GORGIOUS!
Anyway, we are both dating the same woman. (I call her V on here, and my wife is L) I try not to compare the two....EVER. Bad carma doing that sort of thing. LOL But...we have bouts where I have no desire to go any further within the relationship with V. I currently have no real desire to have sex with V. Not that I'm not atteracted to her....No....I just like the relationship where it's at. We hold hands, hang out, and occasionally kiss. Thats it. Nothing more...No idea WHY I have no desire to go further with it yet....but....it may happen some day. and if it never does....It won't be the end of the world, as I am more interested in the relationship. V and I are very similar, and L and I have grown up into adulthood together, so we are SUPER close. We have to be a part of each others everything. (Amazing after 20 years huh?)
When you find the right person for your relationship, you will find that it's not just about the sex....It's all about the love.
There is a lid for every pot...Sometimes even two or three...