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Old 12-03-2010, 07:18 PM
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mushaboom mushaboom is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Northern California
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Hi again Iktomi! Its really nice reading about a triad relationship in a similar stage to mine...

I feel like I might be kind of similar to your husband in that my connection is lagging behind my partners. Its mostly circumstantial in that he's known her for 4 months longer than I have. We've been on maybe 5 mutual dates and when things started to get physical (admittedly only cuddling...we are taking this SLOW lol) I just felt like I needed to get know her much better before we continued...

I am a very shy person to new people but I totally bit the bullet and we decided we'd like to go on a coffee date just the two of us to get to know each other better one on one. I have a natural tendency to become the observer in group settings. We both laughingly acknowledged that it was a little awkward at first but our coffee date turned into a 5 hour conversation into the wee hours and it was just what I needed...to get to know her with no expectations.

He may be feeling hesitant? I know I am... mostly just concerned that we all may get hurt in the process. But whats the saying...no risk no reward? Maybe he needs to explore why he is holding back from getting to know her? Is he feeling external societal pressure/guilt that the situation is 'wrong'... I've been surprised by those feelings too, especially since in theoretical terms I have felt the total opposite up until the actual practice.
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