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Old 12-02-2010, 12:23 PM
Fayerweather Fayerweather is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 52
Default Has anyone else had this trouble?

This is an issue that exists outside of Polyamory for me, but has begun raising it's head within my relationships.

My problem comes with being the one to leave. I often hang out with my bf and his other gf, but always when it's my time to stay at his apartment. She comes over for dinner and the three of us will spend hours talking and hanging out, then she goes home and I get to spend the night with him. I don't ever want to be the one that has to go home by myself.

The only time I was the one to leave, I came out to her birthday party, hung out for a while to wish her a happy one, then I left to go home, BUT, I was scheduled to head out to my other bf's house early the next morning. Somehow that took the edge off my feeling left out or abandoned.

She is lovely and kind and neither she nor my bf are aware of how tough this is for me and there is basically no issue with it outside of myself, but it nags at me. I feel as if this fear of dropping in and being the one to leave represents some sort of immaturity or deep seated fear I should probably face and get over. I'm sure the time will come when this situation arises and I don't want to be the freaked out party who causes an issue.

Does anyone else feel this way? How have you dealt with it? Thanks
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