Too true though, we are on here alot. I need a real job that gets me away from my computer
To answer your question, my struggles had very little to do with her husband. I never felt jealous towards him but was worried I was hurting his relationship. We've been together for almost two years and have just starting living in the same house.
We both got to know ourselves better and found out what we wanted to achieve. We then looked at how we both could be happy and healthy in doing that. But that is not really related to your problem.
What are you hoping for from this relationship? Do your goals/wants include her being married to another man? Can you achieve what you want?