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Old 12-01-2010, 06:05 PM
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whatamIdoing whatamIdoing is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: maryland
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oh i can go a week without any contact from J and I'm like 16 all over again... I just don't doodle his name on my notebook... B is my heart and my soul and yet he has such low self esteem it's hard to get him to see that... but yeah we deal with the money problems and the kid problems (mine are grown but my oldest at 26 is in a group home for emotionally disturbed adults while his 18 yr old daughter's boyfriend has moved in with us)... so i get the UGLIES from Marriage and J offers me FUN and GAMES and flirtation... and joy... I look at B and I WANT HIM and I LOVE HIM and I feel a slow burning warmth that will never die... I look at J (well his mind at least) and I'm on freaking FIRE.... yeah see that's part of the issue J was not a physical thing... he's NOT my type and I'm not his.... ours is pure brain chemistry...
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