[FlameKat]

I have to admit that if I let it - I would be in major NRE about T... even without any communication - hows that for completely sad and insane... especially as he had never been clear on his feelings for me...

One of the problems that K has with T, is how I react to them - says that when I was talking with T, T would get the 'happy me' giggles and games... when he (K) was talking to me (same day, even same hour), he would get the serious, hurting me...

I explain that we are through our honeymoon period - that we were at the time dealing with some pretty f**king huge stresses in our life - major custody case (I was representing myself) which included relocation laws etc... T knew of all of this and would redirect my attention to fun stuff to cheer me up (after all I had spent a year cheering him up :P), whereas when I had time with K I HAD to work on the legal work, I had to deal with stresses - otherwise I would have gone bananas... I trusted K to see the hurt and pain in full view, I didn't have to squash it down...

Maybe I stuffed it up a bit and put too much fun on T and too much serious on K - I should have split it up more evenly... bad judgement on my part... I did a lot wrong :P

Mum says I do everything the hard way...