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Old 12-01-2010, 05:47 PM
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whatamIdoing whatamIdoing is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: maryland
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Originally Posted by FlameKat View Post
Unfortunately for B - I think the only way of really finding out about your emotions and how you feel is for J to be a part of the process - he is triggering the feelings and confusion... you can't really truly get down into that part of you without that input...

At least - I can't... I would have gone on quite happily thinking I was mono if T hadn't come along and stirred up all sorts of feelings in me (K likes to say it was exactly the same as when I met him - I got involved helping him sort out some emotional stuff and fell hard... and did the same with T... thats fine and quite spot on but... I have helped others just as deeply and passionately and I haven't fallen for them....) losing T, pinpointed exactly how I felt... made it hard to hide it from myself or K... actually K had it figured out long before I did... but because I didn't want to recognise it and hid it from myself, and therefore believed that I just loved him (T) as close family... K was more than happy to let it go... big mistake.

Anyway, long story short - do the hard work and really look hard at what J brings out in you... be honest about it... if it's love then you will know, if its not love but something close, you will figure that out too... push yourself to really know yourself and then be honest about it...

we really are so much alike.

B says that my eyes light up when I talk about J.... and i don't see that. I know I have a severe case of NRE... but my eyes light up?

he says he wants my eyes to light up when I think of him... they do.. he just can't see it any more....

I'm not sure I would "let myself" love J.... (knowing that we can choose what we do but we can't choose how we feel)....
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