Originally Posted by swedel
If I were having an affair, if the relationship were solely sexual, then I'd have no hang ups about her husband. But I'm emotionally invested in the relationship, as is she, and that makes all the difference.
Just to clarify, the affair I had was emotionally invested as are many.
Things do change when you become more invested for sure though. Your needs /wants often expand to reflect what you are willing to put into the relationship. For mono people this usually brings up the natural desire to want some one "for ourselves". As this is not possible with someone who is involved with another person, we either finds ways to thrive and be healthy, live in constant dull pain, or simply find some one who is wanting to share love the same way we do.
It sounds like you are making headway and taking good steps to communicate with her husband. More of that, and more of determining what you want out of this relationship might give you direction.