So what if she is attracted and connected to you over your partner? What's wrong with that? Can you not all change your plans and investigate what you and her have together? Does it have to be that love is not available if it does not fit? There is no poly bible that says triads or nothing or you shall burn in hell or something, the whole idea is to invite love into ones life no matter where it comes from. To embrace it, nurture it in all its forms and loveliness, not put constraints on how it will be or not be...
I just wrote on another thread about the theory of scarcity vs abundance... perhaps you should do a tag search on that also, as I suggested on the other thread... it could give you an idea of how things could be....
of course if friends is all you feel then, meh, go for it and see where you get. You won't know how you feel until you try it.
Anyone want to be friends on Facebook?
Send me your name via PM