Originally Posted by Rarechild
Wow, after reading over that last post, I can summarize the situation with this sentence:
"We're doing amazingly well, but I want everything to be perfect and joyful all the fucking time."
Reality checked. Still would love any thoughts you have.
Yeah, I kinda got that. I mean, I got it from the outset of the thread. That's why I had so few words and why all I really wanted to express was that the two of you are my inspirations. It takes a lot of love of one another and of yourselves to hang with the painful shit that is being dredged up and faced within each of you and between you. Ironic, no? It takes much courage, strength, fierce tenderness, faith..., this brilliant tight rope walking (only because each step requires excuisite attention).
It's possible that CF, in some corner of his psyche, thinks he shouldn't have any of this jealousy or fear, or whatever it is. That he should be beyond that, or whatever. That that ship should have been sailed.... Water already under the bridge. But there it is, and I want him to see how loving it is toward both himself and his beautiful partner to acknowlege and face what is there, however strange it may be that
it is there. By not turning away, love blooms from the muddy pond bottom. Compost stinks, but it is lovely! and beautiful.