Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Hi Neohio. I hope you don't read this as a challenge or debate but I would like to call on this comment to try to explore a point.
By saying you don't understand the concept of boundaries, I am assumng that that doesn't mean your wife has an open slate to do whatever with her boyfriend. What if they spur of the moment want to engage another couple in sex? Would you not expect to be consulted in that? Wanting to be consulted can be seen as a boundary if that is the case. I understand not trying to limit what partners can do sexually within the confines of thier relationship, but do you extend that absence of boundaries to whoever they want to engage whenever?
Aha! here is an example of a reasonable boundary/standard. Being informed of an activity that involves people not inside of whatever poly relationship type you have is not limiting. although depending on the relationship type certain things might already be known factors. "Talk to me before you discipline my children" "let me know if you meet someone new" "monogamy within our v, triad..and so on" this also skates on the lines of standards. I have standards but I dont consider those boundaries. I'd expect my partner to want to communicate to me without the expectation of change but with the hope to tackle things as a team. So as far as being consulted of some activity's sounds more like a standard to me.
Love without limits