Originally Posted by redpepper
I find that some of the poly community is big on bowling over peoples jealousy and other hard emotions so that they can have freedom to be with whomever above all. While I admire this to one extent I wonder about the depth of relationship, the quality of relationship and whether or not the relationship is simply low grade. Where is the love in blowing off the emotions of those that we say we love?
It seems that people take their OWN jealousy seriously, but when it comes to a partner's jealousy, it's viewed simply as an obstacle or an "elephant in the room" that the partner "needs to deal with" so that the person can move their social life forward. "How can I help my partner with his or her jealousy so that I can go do what I want without coming home to drama?" It should be "How can I be the best partner I can be so that even when he or she feels jealous, he/she feels safe discussing it with me?"
I've noticed that Rarechild and Catfish are a good example of the latter. There are far too many "good examples" of the former to mention.