Originally Posted by Ariakas
I am a fan of them, as long as they aren't hard and fast and they are fair.
I agree to this Ari. My wife and I have had boundries set in place for a long time....however, as we have matured, a LOT of them have fallen by the way side.
Originally Posted by neohio44122
I don't understand the concept of boundaries, I am mono and my wife is poly. My wife relationship with her boyfriend is their relationship; itís unique and different from my relationship with my wife. I do not tell my wife what she can and can't do with her BF, I do not interfere with their relationship. That wouldn't be fair to the two of them. He and I hang out sometimes; all three of us went to a dueling piano bar this weekend.
Putting restrictions on sex is not fair to the third person in the relationship or your spouse. Would you date somebody if you couldnít kiss them, do it doggie style ect..?
I don't let my insecurities get in the way of their relationship. I knew she was poly when I married her, her relationships last for years (she only has one BF at a time). I try very hard to welcome her BF into our lives. In 21 years of marriage she has had 6 bf's, the longest lasted 8 years.
To answer one of your questions, I am currently dating someone that I can't kiss passionately yet. I have no desires to do so yet, but....my wife isn't comfortable with me doing that yet either. HOWEVER....I asked her if she would be OPEN to the idea. Maybe not this week...Maybe not this month....Hell, maybe not in SIX months...but as long as she's OPEN to the idea, I'm good and OK. Our GF is ok with us having restrictions, and understands them.
One of our boundaries is that I don't take our GF on the motorcycle. The reason? Because it is something special that my wife and I do together to be closer. Now, V and I will find things that we like to do together....as will her and my wife L.
I totally understand and SUPPORT boundaries within poly relationships. But as Ari said, they should be fluid and be able to be re-negotiated at future dates.