Originally Posted by TL4everu2
Pshhh...I keep hearing people who say "No boundries should be set...ever...for anyone". If this is the case, then why get married in the first place? You would be much better served by being single and being in open relationships. .
That makes no sense. At its root poly is simply loving more than one. Being open doesn't do that by itself. Everything around poly that is anything beyond loving more than one is a construct created by people involved.
I am not saying there shouldn't be boundaries. But the boundaries should be reasonably fair. My point still works as I can see it from that side of the coin. I don't usually build relationships as nice slow simmering love buckets of friendship. It worked amazingly well with SJ, but that is a unique experience in my world. Hell I even met my wife as a "quickie"...
My wife and I started with boundaries...lots of them. As we progressed we dropped those boundaries, renegotiated and replaced. I am a fan of them, as long as they aren't hard and fast and they are fair.
Forcing someone to be someone they aren't for the sake of comfort just feels wrong to me (it would be like my wife forcing me to stop having female friends, it wouldn't happen, ever). She is describing a fundamental difference in how the socialize.
Thats my 2 cents anyways.