Originally Posted by Iktomi
Anyway, now the gateway is opened for sex between us all... only the GF and I are in the deep end and my husband is still in the boat, unsure. He asked me on this next date to facilitate bonding between the 2 of them. He's not into casual sex, I know he needs an emotional connection first. Basically I know that means I have to back off and let them connect, but I'm having trouble with the practical reality of it. Having never dated 2 people at once, I don't really know what he means. I don't know HOW he connects emotionally with someone besides A. conversation... he doesn't converse easily with people and didn't really show an interest in conversing online with her, or B. sex and physical touch... which is how I connect emotionally with someone. :P But obviously he's not talking about just the physical stuff.
Simple suggestion, facilitate a date between the two of them only. Remove your energy from the picture in order to help him get comfortable.
A triad is 4 working relationships. Foster each individually and you can build a strong foundation
Keep that in mind and things might roll along smoothly.
Perhaps it's said that men are simple and women need figuring out, but it seems I just don't understand my man and what he needs from me.
Lets skip generalizations haha.
Also, be prepared. This is 4 relationships, he may NEVER be interested in her in the same way, or his may develop over years and yours may dwindle. Don't expect each relationship to be built on equal footing.