View Single Post
  #7  
Old 11-29-2010, 11:12 PM
polytriad polytriad is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 105
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
You can and should request a boundary for anything that you think you might, or are uncomfortable with... whether or not your partner agrees is up to them and if they don't then it's time to negotiate and get to the bottom of what is going on for you or them...

agreed, more communication.
Rarely do I disagree with redpepper but here I do. You should think about why this boundaries is something that you need before discussing it...what is the point of talking to someone about how you feel if they can just continue on like you didnt say anything? You already identified you differ in the realm of casual sex right? How would you feel if you were told that it makes your partner uncomfortable that you didnt have causal sex the first time you meet someone? .....


Boundaries are in my option covers for insecurities or deeper issues. Ask yourself why you need such a boundary? Are you afraid of something? get down to the bottom of why boundaries are needed...Boundaries set by those involved with one another are different then boundaries set by an outside party.

For example: if I were to tell wifey that I do not want her to kiss SlikkNikk in public, then that would be me setting the stage for a relationship that I'm not involved in especially if those involved disagree with said boundary. To add to that it also creates an issue with natural progress in a relationship. But one set by those involved like the one from 40 year old virgin "no sex for 20 dates" keeps those who are involved in control of their own relationship.

Just my thoughts
Spread the Love
PT
Reply With Quote