Illness or not, you aren't getting your needs met and need to make sure they know that... please realize that with most triads there comes a time when they often break into a vee and one person feels left out and neglected either until it sorts out by talking about boundaries or one person leaves... I think she needs to understand that before she came along it was you and him shooting the shit while you lay in bed. Why can't they do that with you for one thing and besides that, if she knew this bit of information, perhaps she would be kind enough to go off an do her own thing to allow the two of you to have time... he could go off an do his own thing too know? Then you and her can have time... maybe he could make you dinner in bed or something and treat you all... it sounds like there needs to be a bit of a coming together around boundaries and needs on this... start talking about the hard stuff, you have nothing to lose and tons to gain... make yourself vulnerable about your feelings and sadness.
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