its a journy
Sex is really a journey. orgasm is sometimes a destination but not always. you can 'get off' on psychological stuff just as easily as having sex. for me the psychological experience is almost more important than actually having physical contact, that important, but not what turns me on. maybe you need to take a step back and understand two things: Sex is not just about you. its a joint effort between people, not a single marathon just for you to run alone. and two: you need not orgasm to enjoy sexual activity.
you should try some other psychological sexual activity like, BD, SM, dress up, roll play, ect...
don't make the sex about you and your perceived dysfunction. so you cannot have a vaginal orgasm, so what me too. make your sex about what you can enjoy. otherwise you will never have good sex because you are too wrapped up in your own head trip. i just get off on making my partner feel good, orgasms not necessary. find some other ways to enjoy sexual activity, or don't and be non sexual.
if you loose a leg, you might not be able to run like a normal person, but with effort and perseverance, you can win a race in a wheel chair.
never focus on the CANNOT. that puts up a wall. Focus on what you CAN do and work with that, Bend and remember your partner is a person with needs too. good luck...