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Old 11-28-2010, 04:01 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

First of all, no marriage is happy all the time. People have shit to deal with, it doesn't mean it's necessarily failing when you hit a roadblock and are unhappy. It does mean there are things to look at. Second of all, I think you need to let go of all those high school memories. You are almost 30 now, and the girl you were in high school is no more. Try to stay present and handle what's happening in the here and now.

I think couples therapy would be very useful for you. It seems to me that your husband does not have much compassion for your concerns and feelings, and has expressed his wants to you in a way that has been disrespectful toward you. There are ways to say what you want and then there are ways to say what you want. The goal of polyamory is not to set your partner aside so you can go and fuck around, it's about having room in your heart and life for more than one. Yes, you have your own issues to process, but he is not letting you know you are loved and cherished. If he won't cooperate to go as a couple, then look into going alone. It sounds to me like a major part of your growth will be to nurture your self-esteem.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

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