I had a long spell (fourteen years) that I was on medication that prevented any sexual satisfaction, even from masturbation, and it really quenched my interest in truly romantic rather than platonic relationships. I didn't see a point in having some one be stuck with a sex drive and a partner who didn't see much point in being sexy.
That being said, I do currently have a very loving and satisfying relationship with my husband, and we have a 7 month old child. Sometimes, thanks to some med changes, I do have a powerful sexual experience (not necessarily inclusive of orgasm, but with a great deal of pleasure), and since it is actually all due to meds that all existed these past fourteen years I say what a waste that no one paid attention to my sexual complaints and never did anything for them!
However, it seems you have actually no problem with having orgasm (can get it with a pocket rocket - so no physical defect). You are able to be excited by people who are new, but not those you are emotionally intimate with. I would suggest stop trying to force physical intimacy. Enjoy emotionally intimate friendships, and keep working in therapy on why you can't be physically joyful in your emotional relationships, and why sex seems like such a mechanical thing in general to you.