Thread: Advice...please
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Old 11-27-2010, 11:42 PM
gennamoon gennamoon is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 5

I'm honestly not sure what questions I have. Like I mentioned, my boyfriend in the past has been able to have just one time flings and it just be strictly about sex whereas I can't do that. For whatever reason when he met me (two years ago), he didn't pursue that type of relationship with me. We have a really good friendship and a fantastic sex life, but I know the idea of me being the only person he will ever be able to have sex with is sort of suffocating to him. About a few months ago, I felt the same way to a point. I have had a problem in the past when the sex gets routine and comfortable, I begin wondering about other people. I guess right now I have a lot of insecurities because I am very, VERY confident about myself in the bedroom which is why I'm having a hard time understanding why him wanting to potentially sleep with another; even if it's just once a year, baffles me. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that he told me that knowing that I'm reading about this and trying to become knowledgeable about it with me possibly considering it is enough. I also mentioned that he said if I would say it was ok, he isn't sure he would even do anything about it. It's the knowing that he has permission that would make him happy. My boyfriend is one of those guys that just likes knowing that he could if he wanted to. He has his own set of insecurities, but is far better at covering them up then I am and I think that girls propositioning him keeps his insecurities at bay.

I guess I just wonder how something like this works? I tell him down the road, go ahead and have one or two flings a year; then what? What types of rules are set up? The other thing is, once a person is with someone else and they come back to their primary relationship how do things just go back to normal? I don't know if I would be jealous or not. I can understand certain situations where this type of relationship would work. One of the women that has propositioned him is married and her husband travels ALL the time so this is the arrangement him and her have since they are never together. I can see where that arrangement would work, but him and I see each other almost daily. We live right around the corner from each other. I also wonder if a threesome might be a better route to go since I am bi curious and could be a part of it?

Again, I know this isn't polyamory, but I'm not sure where else to go to ask for insight. I appreciate the responses
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