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Old 11-27-2010, 11:00 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi Koifish,

Sorry to hear about your health issues. Let's all hope you get that behind you - ASAP !

In trying to offer up some support I guess I could only say....or fall back on, some of the old clichés.
Like....."it's a team effort'.
"Communication is key"

Your illness puts you in a hard position and the trick is to let everyone know how you feel without playing the "needy" card. I think you get that. But there's not a thing wrong with just explaining that because of the situation you are feeling left out sometimes. Part of that remains YOUR responsibility, but team play also gives some of that responsibility to them. Until you get better, you can't ask or expect everything to flow the way it would ideally. More incentive to get better ASAP - right ?

One thing that you might toss out there and try is being part of their sex play sometimes without being physically involved. It really can bring everyone closer if you just sit back and watch and share in the energy being exchanged. That can also help you build skills for dealing with envy, which is what you seem to be struggling with. Different than "jealousy - by far. Think of it like going bowling with them when you were too weak to play yourself. Just be with them and share their own excitement & happiness. It works.

I'm sure down deep they feel uncomfortable with the way things are too but don't know how to express it. And let's face it - horny is horny. Often over-rides everything else - like it or not.

It would also help if they understood that you would really cherish some intimate but NOT sexual time with them. Just hanging out, cuddling, watching a movie. Thinks you CAN be part of that aren't so taxing.

You guys can all have a great, warm relationship as long as you just try to be considerate of each other and talk openly about how you are feeling.

Go for it - and hope you feel better soon !

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