I really admire your tenacity
. You must really love 2rings to hang in there through all the turmoil. I honestly don't know if I could do it.
We don't have Thanksgiving down-under but I think we should. I find it baffling that we have adopted Halloween (which is silly, with seasonal differences pumpkins are nothing but tiny seedlings and we have all these kids wandering around as witches in full sunshine due to daylight savings); and yet we don't do Thanksgiving which would be a really nice idea.
However in the absence of a formal Thanksgiving I would like to acknowledge my appreciation of the uniqueness and loveliness of my metamour. We are really different in many ways, but have enough in common to build a solid and rewarding relationship I think.
It's a really interesting dynamic in that I would not have naturally chosen her as a friend, but that is what she has effectively become. It hasn't always been easy. I've had to learn to communicate at her pace, which is very different to mine. I'm an out there, up-front and very open, what-you-see-is-what-you-get type; whereas while she appears to be open and friendly she is actually very private and guarded.
It's taken lots of patience and perseverance for me to understand that this isn't dishonesty but a defense mechanism built up from deep hurt sustained over the years.
She is the the most fragile member of our V and as a mono-primary that has been a surprise for me. But by moving at her pace I am allowing her to open up and feel more secure in Z's love for her and my acceptance of that. It's actually quite a beautiful process and one that I am very thankful for.