Originally Posted by nightwalker
This might sound silly to some people who are into bdsm but seriously I never agreed to bdsm when she brought up poly. I said early on that I didn't want her tied up in SO's house as he lives in a remote location two hours travel from were we live. I don't really know anything about bdsm and would prefer if we explored bdsm or group sex or anything like that together for the moment until I can get my head around it all and that she sticks to safer vanilla sex for the moment. Her SO is big into having women being submissive to him and playing dom role.
Ah got it. I think it's fair to talk to her about wanting her to be safe. Is bdsm something that you're interested in exploring? If it isn't really something that you want to do personally you might be better off talking things through with her frequently and adjusting the boundaries that way rather than engaging in any activities that you're not really into yourself.
How well do you know her other partner? Are you willing to spend some time with each other and without her getting to know each other on a personal level.