Do you clearly express to her how you feel and what you need? I may be wrong, but I have a hunch you are biting your tongue and not saying everything you need to in a direct way. Instead of starting off the conversation with the changes you want to make in your boundaries, what about telling her how you feel? You know, like: "I feel unwanted when you tell me to go off and do my thing. I feel unappreciated for all the work I am doing. I feel that our family's needs are being discounted. How can we balance this? I need to feel that you are investing as much into our relationship and our child as you are in this other person. I'm not comfortable with how you're handling this. I need your help and to be focused on planning the wedding." Things like that. Don't pussyfoot.
It's also possible that this sense you have that she's ignoring you, your child, and the things that are important to you are perhaps more your own perception and not what the reality is. But you won't find out without sitting down and discussing it directly and succinctly. Ask for time to be heard. I keep picturing her running out the door while you're trying to talk to her, but I don't know if that's just how you painted it.
Last edited by nycindie; 11-26-2010 at 09:24 AM.