Originally Posted by Tonberry
Well, I wouldn't date someone I'm not in love with. What's the point? I'm sure other people find one, but the only reason I ever want someone as my partner is that I'm in love with them. I don't go "hey, I have so many partner, I could use one more, let's start auditioning".
Well, for me, dating can be fun in and of itself. In fact, I prefer not having a larger goal in mind of turning it into a relationship. To just go out to coffee, drinks, a movie, the theater, or whatever, I can't require being in a serious relationship first. Before I was married, I dated just to see what someone is like, and always tried not to add the pressure of making that person something more until I got to know them. I told myself, "just go out and date, meet people, don't worry about getting a commitment out of them, just enjoy their company, relax and see what happens." It's just something fun to do with a companion. Of course, if there's heavy-duty attraction going on, I want that smooch at some point. But when I start becoming interested in making it a relationship, to me it's more than just dating.
I guess my approach might have to shift if I do become involved in a poly situation. Don't know how, though.
Right now I'm getting divorced, am unattached and entering the dating scene while hoping to explore a poly approach. So, wondering how to date people who are already attached to someone else - it's out of my realm of experience thus far.
And Tonberry, you have been helpful even though your experiences may not apply to what I'm asking, because you've given me a perspective I didn't know about before.