Originally Posted by clairegoad
Easy... you fall in love with who you want them to be... and then deal with the disappointment when they don't read from your script..
Well, yes, of course I know what that's about. I suppose my questions are not very clear. Let me try again...
Let's say you meet someone, either in person or online. Just a brief exchange, could be someone you interact with at an event, a friend of a friend, or someone who responds to your online profile - whatever! You don't know them yet, but there's something you find intriguing. Maybe there's even a little flirting going on. Anyhoo, you would like to go out with this person and see if you really do have an attraction, to learn a little more stuff about them, or whether you even want to pursue him or her. A casual date, such as coffee or a cocktail. Wa-a-ay before anyone's falling in love!
If this person is poly and has a primary partner, is it the usual expectation that their partner meets you before you go out with them, even at that early get-to-know-you stage? Or wouldn't you wait 'til after a few dates, if and when you both feel you want to have a relationship, that you would meet their primary partner to get their blessing (if that's their ground rules)? I mean, I know I'd appreciate meeting and/or communicating with the SO at some point, to know for sure that this is an ethical situation and not a cheater, but I'm trying to get clear on "polyamorous diplomacy," I guess.
Sounds like such a stupid question, I know, but I'm curious -- if I meet someone do I have to ask to meet the partner before I ask out the person in whom I'm interested?