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Old 11-25-2010, 06:31 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,443

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
You mean, like love at first sight? I'm confused. I'm just talking about when you first meet someone and still trying to figure out of you're interested in pursuing. I guess it just depends on every situation and the agreements that are in place. Was just wondering if it's still ethical to make a date with someone who has a partner or primary without having to meet that partner first.
No, no, I mean that I'd tell my partners I'm in love before I decide if I want to pursue it, since their input will matter. Plus this way if I do want to pursue it, they can help me. Similarly, my husband told me when he was in love and I helped preparing a special meal (he did most of it), I made her a stuffed toy (long story) and so on, all before he asked her out (sadly, she turned him down).

I like being part of the courtship process of my partner's interests, and I definitely need a lot of support when I'm interested in someone (he hasn't sent me an email back! Should I write again? What do you think? What should I say?).
The idea of first asking someone out to a date or even more, and THEN only introducing them to my partners wouldn't work very well for me, what if the date works well but my partners think we can't include that person in our relationship? Being already so invested would break my heart :S
Me: 32F, straight
Seamus: My husband, 33M, straight
Fox: My boyfriend, 30M, homoflexible
Dragon: Fox's husband (and my ex), 30M, pansexual
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