Thx for your insights. I just met his SO (I was told his wife but they're not married), and she really freaked me out - doh! My wife told me last night that she was just having fun (f**k buddy) and I immediately felt better, but according to his SO he is 'serious' about my wife. Also they have multiple STDs (not life threatening) and his goal is to have my wife bare - doh. I'm fixed but he is not and he has children with three women. His SO said 'they' are considering (my wife and him) she get an IUD for this so it wouldn't be long until I have multiple STDs - doh. I had surgery and pain for 6 months just to avoid IUD or her hormones because that is so important to me to have no interference down there. I think this poly thing is good for you who are poly and willing to compromise your deepest desires for the sake of multiple partners. For me this is turning out I make all the compromises and will get STDs (I'm STD free only 1 partner in life so far) if I want to stay with my wife.
OK I guess you call that venting I think I'm in trouble.