I'm coming from the point of view of your hubby.
It's taken me a while (longer than you would like to know), and my guy didn't have another person that he was trying to get things started with.
I've done the waffling that you talked about. In one day I would go from okay to jealous to angry back to okay.
But what helped me in our situation was talking, and lots of it. I told him my fears, and he reassured me every time.
Our conversations had lots of tears (I'm emotional), but we're moving along and I'm feeling more comfortable.
We have things we do together, that are unique to him and I.
And he gives me plenty of attention to equal out (at least in my mind) the attention he's giving to others.
I hope this helped you, even if just a little.